Why is joy embarrassing?

[memorizingthedigitsofpi]

Over on tumblr, I said that cringe is just being embarrassed for someone else who doesn't feel embarrassed about their own joy. But then I asked the question, "Why is joy embarrassing?"

I wasn't actually trying to be that deep. I mean, it was a legitimate question, but I wasn't planning on answering it. But now that I'm thinking about it, I actually want to know.

Why is joy embarrassing?

I think part of it is that external viewpoint. You're watching someone experience such a strong emotion, and they're doing it nakedly - without hiding it at all. We're all used to keeping a veil over that kind of thing on a day to day basis. You can only show your honest emotions on special occasions or in private.

But "cringe" behaviour is public. It's there for anyone to see. Family, friends, strangers - you're allowing all of them to watch you filled with and expressing your emotion.

When someone is crying and we feel an emotional response to their pain, we call it empathy. When someone is angry and we feel an emotional response to that anger, we call that fear. But when someone is experiencing joy, we call our emotional response cringe and recoil away from it.

I don't want to run away from joy. I want to embrace it. I want them to share it with me and pull me under the umbrella of it. Let me warm myself with your joy against the cold, dark cruelty of the world.

I don't want to snuff that flame. I want to fan it. Turn it into an inferno. The world is crap enough. Let's let the happiness in when we can.

Comments

[ms_katonic]

I never really got cringe culture and I think this might be why - I never found joy embarrassing. Joy's precious and we should make the most of it while we can, why would I begrudge it in another?

Of course, it also helped that I got into fandom as an adult and was past the teenage need to be seen as cool at all times. Suspect a lot of cringe culture's main adherents are still very much in that phase, and anyone who hates fandom will be all too keen to weaponise that.

[memorizingthedigitsofpi]

Same on both counts. I didn't even get online until I was almost 20 so my teen years might very well have been cringe-y but I didn't know that and no one was around to point it out.