Why is joy embarrassing?

[memorizingthedigitsofpi]

Over on tumblr, I said that cringe is just being embarrassed for someone else who doesn't feel embarrassed about their own joy. But then I asked the question, "Why is joy embarrassing?"

I wasn't actually trying to be that deep. I mean, it was a legitimate question, but I wasn't planning on answering it. But now that I'm thinking about it, I actually want to know.

Why is joy embarrassing?

I think part of it is that external viewpoint. You're watching someone experience such a strong emotion, and they're doing it nakedly - without hiding it at all. We're all used to keeping a veil over that kind of thing on a day to day basis. You can only show your honest emotions on special occasions or in private.

But "cringe" behaviour is public. It's there for anyone to see. Family, friends, strangers - you're allowing all of them to watch you filled with and expressing your emotion.

When someone is crying and we feel an emotional response to their pain, we call it empathy. When someone is angry and we feel an emotional response to that anger, we call that fear. But when someone is experiencing joy, we call our emotional response cringe and recoil away from it.

I don't want to run away from joy. I want to embrace it. I want them to share it with me and pull me under the umbrella of it. Let me warm myself with your joy against the cold, dark cruelty of the world.

I don't want to snuff that flame. I want to fan it. Turn it into an inferno. The world is crap enough. Let's let the happiness in when we can.

Comments

[pikkugen]

There are few things I like more than seeing people who really enjoy themselves and who are contagiously excited about what they're doing. Then again I have a lot of non-neurotypical friends and I'm starting to wonder (at the ripe age of 44) that I might be somewhere on the scale myself, so not caring (much) about other people's cringe is something of a second nature to me. Then again I'm somewhat skilled in choosing the people I gush about MY things, so maybe I'm just lucky. I just wish every little teen had someone to talk with about all their favorite things, no matter how "cringe".

[memorizingthedigitsofpi]

Oh man, the ableism involved in cringe culture is another topic I'd love to discuss with people. I've only started scratching the surface of it myself, but it's so true!