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[memorizingthedigitsofpi]

Reading the notes on my popular tumblr blog gets really depressing sometimes. Lots of insecurities. Lots of people who feel the need to turn any positive post into negativity. Fewer fanpol these days now that I use the block button very liberally, but they're still there. And this week, I once again got antis dropping into my ask box on my personal blog.

Dreamwidth feels much quieter and kinder and overall nicer right now, so thank you all for that.

I should probably extend my tiktok-break into a tumblr-break too. At least until after work stops being quite as crunchy as it is. Maybe I'll try to add some vacation days onto a weekend sometime soon. A vacation (even a staycation) would probably do me some good.

Comments

[mistressofmuses]

Ugh, I'm very sorry you've been getting antis in your ask box. Not a good time at all.

It makes me so sad when I see positivity posts (anyone's, yours certainly included!) that have people being so negative in the notes.
Yes the world is a bit of a hellscape, and I know that sometimes positivity in itself is hard to hold onto... but it breaks my heart a bit when people jump right to trying to tear it down, for others or themselves.

DW is a much mellower space, in part because it's so quiet and less-used, but I appreciate the much chiller vibes here as compared to tumblr. (And I know it still tends to be better than twitter or tiktok.)

If you need a break, you definitely should take one. Especially if work is rough, too!

[memorizingthedigitsofpi]

❤️ the antis aren't anything to worry about. they're more like mosquitos. annoying to swat at and even more annoying to let buzz in your ear while you're trying to sleep. at least on my personal blog I can be snarky without feeling guilty about it lol

but yeah. the negativity I see in the notes can be a lot sometimes. Especially when it's people who are so incredibly hateful and hurtful towards themselves. I sometimes joke with friends that people on tiktok need help with searching and filtering AO3 but people on tumblr need a therapist and it's kind of true. at least when it comes to the people I see and interact with.

that's why I write those posts on things like perfectionism and community. I can see the hurt that people are feeling and I want to help them identify what it is. (the burnout posts are allllll me though XD)

[mistressofmuses]

Antis do tend to be the mosquitoes of the online world, don't they. (Though watch out for the ones carrying West Nile. Or whatever the equivalent is in this metaphor.)

But really, the negativity is kind of overwhelming, and I'm sorry you get to see SO MUCH of it. It really is heartbreaking how many people are being so cruel to themselves, or taking self-deprecation to such a harsh extreme. :(

I DO love your posts about things like that! Like... if I cannot drag you to therapy, I will at least shove therapeutic posts and concepts at you! Though... I probably identify with the burnout ones the most, heh.

[yvannairie]

Yeah like I've gotten into exactly one fight on DW and that was a case of "oh wow the two of us take this very personally, just in totally different directions". It's pretty easy to avoid getting annoyed at people here, and being able to put my weh posting under lock and key really helps.

[memorizingthedigitsofpi]

I think that's part of the rose-coloured glasses around LJ. So much more control over both who sees your stuff and whose stuff you see. I miss the days of social media that actually allowed for social interaction that somewhat mirrored how we do things in real life. It's good to be able to walk away from an argument. It's good to be able to avoid people and topics you want to avoid. Opting *in* is a more controlled action than having to constantly opt out.

but now I'm going down yet another rabbit hole lol. Sorry. Clearly I can't turn my brain off sometimes.

[yvannairie]

No yeah, I think you're dead on the money and I don't mind you talking about it at all. I never even had that good of a time on LJ, I got by in anonymous communities much better because I was always treated as kind of... weird and offputting for my lack of social graces and this was, y'know. Maybe undeserved but certainly true. In that way communities with lower interaction floor like Tumblr that are kind of a big party where anyone can pop into any conversation if they're brave and brazen enough help people like me put myself out there.

But in the absence of an ability to get serious and avoid public emotional closure is beneficial for community health, because it lets people take five and they don't need to feel like they're in the same room with the person who just set them off. Like I think a lot of the current sites lack that extra layer of "here's my friend group that I can error check my behaviour with", rather than going straight to DMs and private personal communication.

[mekare]

First off, I love seeing your positive posts!

Please take care of yourself though, especially if work is hard right now. An extended weekend sounds like just the thing, with a Tumblr break on top.

[memorizingthedigitsofpi]

❤️❤️❤️

[pauraque]

People commenting negativity on positive posts happens here too, though maybe not as much or with the same level of self-hating vitriol. More just grim "too bad the world is doomed anyway" stuff when it isn't called for or relevant. I try not to interact with people who do a lot of that because it just isn't productive. I sympathize with people's anxieties, but spreading the anxiety around when people are trying to talk about something else is not the way to deal with it.

[memorizingthedigitsofpi]

Yeah, it's the anxieties and the self-deprecation-that's-really-self-loathing that get to me the most. People who are just straight up assholes I block and then move on from. it's the people who just genuinely need some compassion that make my heart hurt

[vriddy]

Ah, the negativity is so difficult to handle, I'm not good at that. I try to offer perspective as I can, but most people aren't in a place where they can hear it so I have to step back before I get too dragged down myself :(

I've admired your ability to step back and take breaks whenever you need to, ever since I discovered your Tumblr a couple of years back! Good luck with work being busy and hope you get space for a nice little staycation soon!! I've been doing them regularly and they're so good :D

[memorizingthedigitsofpi]

staycation has commenced! 5 days off work (extended long weekend) should do a lot to help me reset :D

[vriddy]

Enjoy!! :D :D

[lackadaisicalnereid]

ok hi *waves* long time reader, first/second time commenter on your blog!

i've started considering a tumblr break since i first read this post of yours earlier today.

i mean, it just sort of does feel like i'd be getting a more quality mood/experience/whatever, if i just had 3-10 people on dreamwidth i interacted with weekly then the endless tumblr scrolling?

i've never been on tiktok, so i can't speak to that.

i'll be happy to hear how your continued tiktok and tumblr breaks go, if you start/continue with them!